This post is for those who really can’t get laid. I’m talking about this:
I know dozens of guys like me. Late 20′s, next to no sexual experience.
I think first of all you have to sit down and answer the question of why you can’t get laid. If you come up with an answer like looks, money or culture, you’re wrong. Guys with worse looks and less money than you get laid all the time in every part of the world. If you think long enough about it you can’t avoid reaching a conclusion which is simple and logical but hard to accept: the problem which prevents you from getting laid is in your head. It’s not clothes or wallets; it’s something you think or say or do.
The hardest thing for many of us is letting go of our beliefs. I know because I’ve been trapped in this situation for quite some time in my younger days. I didn’t seem to have much success with girls but I always thought I was doing things the right way – only the world was somehow “wrong”. It was the “girls’ fault”. Looking back it’s clear to me that I was a stereotypical nice guy thoroughly indoctrinated by all the nonsense I was bombarded with regarding women and dating. And the biggest problem was not that I did stupid things, but that I was absolutely sure that I was doing what I was supposed to do. And I was confused as hell when things didn’t work out. I was a kind of a white knight who pedestalized girls because “that was the decent thing to do”. I imagined myself to be a prince on a white horse who’ll endure any pain for his princess. I thought I’d show my strength by taking and withstanding any shit thrown my way and sadly I failed to realize that girls were looking for guys who showed their strength by not taking any shit at all.
So, what I mean is probably the biggest hurdle you’ll ever face regarding dating is admitting that the problem is in your own head. It might be the way you view women, or the way you view yourself. Maybe you’re not bold enough. Probably you suffer from oneitis. All the things which you must overcome to get laid are in your head and you’re the one who’s not willing to let go of these ideas. Stop blaming the world and fighting against it, it won’t do you any good. You’re not the tragic hero of the show turning into a “martyr for love”, you’re just an everyday fellow whose head has been filled with lies. Admit it and get over it. The sooner the better.
A few examples of these lies which make men think they’re morally superior to others but in fact only make them fail at getting laid:
The most obvious ones are of course the ones that say you should treat girls nicely. You should carry their bags at school or buy them drinks in bars. Always be polite and do what-the-fuck-ever she wants you to do. Try to read her mind and always do everything you can to please her. Hollywood and feminism indoctrinates you with this sh*t and it’s so deeply engraved in your mind that you really and truly can’t understand how could it be that thugs screw the best women while you get LJBFs.
You might often hear that if you want to get good with women you’ll have to have practice. But since you’ve been indoctrinated by hollywood and feminism, you find this idea repulsive. You think that you only supposed to try to get into the pants hearts of girls you’re in love with.
A touchier issue is using escorts. It is very basic knowledge in PU (PickUp) circles that neediness kills a girl’s attraction towards you. You could “cure” neediness by using escorts but that’s unimaginable for you because… you’ve been indoctrinated by hollywood and feminism and find this idea repulsive. (As a side note I’d say that if you’re over 20 and still a virgin you should immediately pick up the phone and call an escort.)
Somewhere along the way you’ll have to recognise that imaginary moral high grounds and success with women doesn’t mix and you’ll have to choose between them. I believe by now the choice is easy, but hey, if you still want the moral high ground by all means indulge yourself – it means more women are left for me.
Good post.
Don’t forget that religious feminism has brainwashed an entire generation of sexually frustrated white knights who get blown off by church girls who like riding bad boy cock or even if they don’t, do not consider their male counterparts as desirable compared with players and non-church men. Want to find pussified girly-men manginas? No better place to find them than in church.
I’m not advocating immorality, that’s not my intended point. No, my point is that if a guy wants to learn of manhood and attracting the opposite sex, most churches don’t have a clue and actually are a breeding ground for sexually frustrated men who view life through an idealistic prism not shared by so many of their female church member counterparts.
That’s what happens when you get your manhood ideals from girly-men henpecked pastors/hubbies or worse yet, unsatisfied married women who play the part of the happy wife but are anything but that in their homes.
I fully concur and then some. I only wish I had known these things back when it made a difference to me (I’ll be 60 soon).
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Churches are bad news for breeding men that can, well, breed.
Always have been.
Men have to learn everything they need to know outside the church.
True that. The bitches want the bad boy cock, nice guys finish LAST…I should know, cuz I finished dead last. But, I do get the last laugh… cuz now I actually have money, since I didn’t have to spend it all on BITCHES. Thank you.
I was told once that I am the nicest guy left on the planet. So, of course, I can’t get laid. I treat women with respect; I have a great sense of humor; I’m easy to get along with and easy to please. So, of course, I can’t get laid.
But, if I was an asshole who cared only about myself, force myself on women, treat them like crap, or was dumb as an ox, then, OBVIOUSLY I would get laid.
Yeah, it’s the same deal as golf…my head starts thinking and fucks up my game. Anyway, I’m with Frankie…I definitely have more $$ than I would if I was getting laid.
I’m one of those ‘bad boys’ mentioned here and I can tell you firsthand I’ve got all my money too.
Just another symptom of the mistaken mindset of the ‘nice guy’. Who spends their cash on ‘bitches’?!!! After we’ve had sex I’m willing to go 50/50 with the occasional gesture of paying for everything or a gift because the ‘bitch’ has earned it. You want to get laid? Make her pay for her own shit or at the very least make sure you’re getting something in return. ie reverse kino, her undivided attention, a kiss etc which is building towards a lay.
Nice guys think paying for things on a ‘date’ is ‘nice’ and going to make the girl like you more. It DOESN’T fellas!! Get that through your thick nice guy heads. Women want men who challenge them. Who make them earn the man’s approval and validation. It’s not the other way around boys.
Learn game and learn how to make those vaginas tingle. Not dry up like a box crusty old raisins left out in the sun too long. Because that’s exactly what lame ass nice guy behavior accomplishes and only that.
Nice guys finish last, or not at all. I am past the point of trying to work on my “game” to get laid.
Nothing i do or say makes any difference. I am 26, aesthetically attractive, well-spoken, funny and outgoing. Too bad im also a nice guy who gets shit on by everyone in the world.
FUCK YOU, FUCK WOMEN, FUCK THE WHOLE STUPID HUMAN RACE.
Alex001 – You sound just like me brother. You know what man, in all honesty, the whole dam world is superficial and dumb as fuck, and anyone who tells me differently should get their head knocked off! The best advice I can give you (which I’ve just very recently taken upon myself) is to just LET GO! Stop trying, stop giving a fuck —- just FUCK IT!!! The way I see it, let the chips fall where they may, and who knows, maybe something great will come along, something better than you ever expected. Be a good person, do the right things, not because you’re supposed to, but because it comes from your heart. Be genuine and ultimately just be you. That right there is the definition of LIVING WELL!!!
This is largely BS. The fact that you said you should pay for sex if you’re a virgin over 20 is the first sign of that. I’ve had plenty of girls come onto me and I’m a nice guy. This whole “nice guys finish last” stuff is BS. Being a nice guy who treats females with respect isn’t synonymous with being a pushover who lets girls walk all over him. The difference between a pushover and an attractive man boils down to one thing. Self respect. I open doors for girls, I do them favors like I would anyone else, I talk to them about their lives like I would with anyone else, and yes, they call me a sweet nice guy, but at the same time they come onto me. Do you know why? Because I know where to draw the line. Guy or girl, if they’re giving me crap I don’t put up with it. Women are attracted to men they respect and are in control of their situation. The reason women aren’t attracted to pushover “nice guys” is because they don’t respect themselves, they aren’t assertive, their persona lacks any real power and they’re just plain boring. Doesn’t mean you have to be a punk and act like a jerk. Plus if you’re willing to alter your personality and be a jerk to get laid you are truly a pathetic person who has no self worth. Focus on becoming the man you want to be and accomplishing what you’re passionate about and women will be attracted to you.
Oh sure, it is so simple – yet somehow millions have serious problems with dating. But worry no more, captain Robert is here and he solves all your problems by saying ‘just be confident’. Cool.
Also please show me where I said you should “be a punk and act like a jerk”. Until then, fock off.
I am angry and frustrated about my lack of a sexlife, but i also recognize its my own fault.
I have no self-respect, self-esteem or feeling of being worhtwhile at all. My anger at the world is only a symptom of my own inability to realize my full potential.
No amount of “manning-up” ever works… you come across as insincere, which is almost as bad as being desperate.
I am a uselss human being.
Try to relax. You know you’re not useless, you are just frustrated.
dude i hate women now its bad
I dont hate women, i just hate myself. I am a piece of shit with nothing positive to offer a woman, thats why ill always be alone.
I feel completely emasculated by my own inability to be a real man. Its a never-ending cycle of bullshit. I am a desperate pussy, and its my own fault. Fuck my life.
alex001 i feel with you. I am in the same situation and frustrated as hell. Well, we have no choice than learning to respect ourselves and getting our self-esteem back. Dont let your hope down, although I am frustrated and didnt had sex for 3 years, it can only get better. Lets see it as a chance for us to grow more into the person we have to be. Its a hard world we live in and people can be mean, ecspecially if you are shy, different than most people. We have to adapt, we have no other choice man, if we dont change we will end up alone. See it as an opportunity to change, I try to see it that way. Good luck to you man.
As I see it, the real problem for nice guys lies in the element of CARING! All genuine nice guys CARE a very great deal about women and and their feelings! Every nice guy really does try to be like a legendary knight in shining armor! Unfortunately, most women lack the maturity and understanding to appreciate the righteous devotion being lavished on them! When a very CARING nice guy caters to a woman as though she were a legendary Queen-Goddess, the woman only sees a weak man who must be a pushover! That’s the result of so much CARING!
On the other hand, if the nice guy gives up the element of CARING and instead treats a woman like she was yesterday’s garbage, he will suddenly be seen by her as strong and manly! And so the answer is for nice guys to stop all this unappreciated high devotion and CARING! Women like this need to be treated as easily replaced disposables of little value! They need to know that they’ll be thrown aside at the drop of a hat!
Without the element of CARING, a man can approach a hundred women and more without fearing the pain of rejection! If he finds just five willing women out of each hundred approaches, he’s well on his way to becoming a player with lots of girlfriends! By sifting through hundreds of women, he’ll polish his approach and improve his numbers and quickly discard women that he’s tired of! Of course the man won’t be a nice guy any more! He may not even be a decent human being any more! He may never actually love or CARE again! But that’s the kind of man most women choose and deserve!
I don’t quite agree but everybody is entitled to their own opinions :)
Still useless…. and you’re right. I really shouldnt CARE anymore. Im at the point where ive stopped approaching women alltogether. I think ive pretty much just resigned myself to the fact that im gonna be alone, and so id rather just enjoy my day.
I have no use for women other than to fuck them, and they dont seem to be interested in that. Now I just stay away, and i dont even respond when a girl talks or smiles at me. Fuck women, im done.
From now on its boxing, camping and smoking weed on the agenda.
Oh yea, and rubbing one out every morning.
i’m fucked up. i can say fuck my life wit a smile on my face. i been a nice guy for MOST of my life. i’m 19, not a virgin but still feel like one(cuz i got set up wit an ugly girl at 18, pressured into it, n she got more pleasure than i did. wtf?), may hav personality disorders cuz of my unwanted celibacy in high school, may be emo to, maybe masochistic. wow i bitch alot lol no wonder i can’t get laid by a beautiful girl(even though there may be more reasons why i can’t get laid but like hell people would wanna hear me talk. i’m depressed again. FUCK! i may jus need someone i can talk to bout this shit though. guess this is my only source)
Well, I’m glad you had a place to vent :) I know this does not really help but you’re way too young to draw serious conclusions. Most guys (80%+) your age have problems like you. If you persist, and are willing to work, things will get better.
try to funnel these bad emotions into something that will help you get girls. When you feel like shit try to go work out. Get muscular and in shape. Hopefully girls will hit on you and you dont even have to know how to “woo” women. If thats too hard to do and you still really want to get women but are to pussy to work for it, you can get ur nuts surgically removed so you can stop desiring them and live a life thats not full of pain which is pointless to live!