A misunderstanding about attraction

I also found this comment over at Seasons Of Tumult And Discord.

“I’m convinced that 99% of all men aware of game find it impossible to implement, only multiplying their frustration in life.

I know that’s the case with me.

I did everything “right”. I have a good job, I own my own house and car. I forecast consequences years ahead for all actions I take. I dress well, and I’m possibly one standard deviation above average in attractiveness. I work out, I have a 401k that I actively manage, I eat right…
I’m only in my late 20′s to boot.”

You see, all this has nothing to do with game or attraction.

In PUA circles there is a saying that attraction is not a choice. What is meant by that is that attraction has nothing to do with conscious decisions. And what this guy was talking about are all information waiting to be processed by the conscious mind. Let me explain.

If a woman looking like the late (Margaret Thatcher oops, sorry) Andrea Dworkin comes up to you, you probably won’t be attracted to her. And no matter what she says or does you’ll never be attracted to her the way you’re attracted to your favorite hot actress. You cannot alter your body’s decision about who to lust by thinking about it. You may be able to fool yourself for a time, or you might say “oh well, what the hell, even muck can be used to put out fires” and have a swing at it but it’s still not the same visceral attraction which makes you hard as rock, which you feel when you see actual desirable women.

Now of course attraction works differently for women than for men. They are not so much concerned about looks. They are looking for self confidence, dominance, etc., so you have some time to show her what you’re made of. But the basic principle is still in work here: by no amount of reasoning can you make her panties wet. It’s decided in her subconscious and that doesn’t care about jobs or cars. This is why women find felons with uber-confident body language more attractive than rich men with low self confidence. They might marry a rich guy for the money but they still get their panties wet over “bad guys”.

So, my advice for the fellow who wrote the comment would be: don’t give up. Practice game every day until it starts to work for you, because it is evident by now that your house, car and job will not help you to get laid.

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6 Responses to A misunderstanding about attraction

  1. This blog has been a long time coming! Check out my latest my good man…hope I can send some traffic your way!

  2. ThinkingMan says:

    So true. The conventional wisdom, mostly from clueless females, is so wrong it’s laughable.

  3. luvsic says:

    I think it was Deangelo who coined ‘attraction is not a choice.’ It’s a timeless concept, and when you accept it you can ditch every excuse and rationalization that is holding you back.

    Also, a powerful way to learn game is to observe women – especially the ones you spend time with – and watch how predictably they respond to guys with good game (natural or learned). It’s uncanny how a waiter or bartender w/ a little bit of flair, or a someone in work circles with high status captures their attention.

  4. sestamibi says:

    Um, Deansdale, Margaret Thatcher is very much yet with us.

  5. Deansdale says:

    There’s a saying in my country that if a living person is said to be dead s/he will live long. (I don’t know if there’s an english version of this)
    She “disappeared” so long ago I presumed she was dead. Sorry!

  6. sestamibi says:

    Of course, she’s slowed down quite a bit, but as Lady Thatcher has been a member of the House of Lords since she left Commons back around 1993.

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