One problem with game

Assman comments at It’s Not Lack Of “Game”, It’s The Experience Gap:

Game doesn’t work. There are no studies. There is no real way to measure it and there probably never will be. There are probably some effective teachers out there but for the most part game is a load of shit. I am a member of a lair and reading the lair carefully I would estimate that 80% of the guys there are newbies who will maybe last 8 months and then quit. There is a small core of hardcore guys many of which don’t have great results (>3000 approaches and maybe 4-5 lays with different girls). I have never seen someone who was spectacularly successful but there is a tiny minority that is good (>40 girls). Even the hardcore guys get frustrated and depressed. They often lose jobs, friends, family and fail in school after learning the game.

I don’t know about his “lair” but if the hardcore guys get 4-5 lays out of 3000+ approaches they definitely do something wrong because Quasimodo would have better chances. And losing their jobs and family? Come on…

I think the underlying problem here is that when guys find game they often find the little details first, most probably “advanced” techniques which are not meant for average frustrated chumps (AFCs). They get really excited and start memorizing openers, negs, DHVs and so on and then they go out to try these on girls. It won’t work. Even if they “do it right” it still won’t work because something is always “off”. They are not congruent. They seem artificial or theatrical. They often face situations for which they’re not “prepared”. They fail to realize that being rejected by many women at the same venue is a massive DLV and is undermining their success. They use canned routines their “prey” already heard a dozen times before. They approach girls out of their league (considering they’re not yet good at game). They insult girls with bad negs or use unnecessary negs. They undergame and overgame. They use a method not really suited for them. I could go on all day about how many ways a newb can fuck up his seduction attempts. If you’re new to game this is a nice way to inflict a hell of a lot of pain on yourself.

Thing is, this probably is the method the first PUAs “invented” game. They kept on going no matter what. No wonder some of them got depressed a lot (but Mystery is not a good example because he was never sane to begin with). I reckon they did it the wrong way. They experimented with practice and then tried to come up with the theories. But let me make this clear: most of the practice they so painstakingly developed and most of their theories really do work.

Since all this hard work is already done it’s much easier and a lot more effective for beginners to learn the underlying theories first and then try it in practice. What I mean is that you should understand the whole stuff first and only then try to hit on girls. Understand what is evolution and how it works; how it made women to be the way they are. Understand hypergamy and spend a few hours reading different takes on it. Understand what social status is, how it manifests at the places you frequent, and what makes you climb or fall on the percieved social ladder. Spend some time thinking about how attraction works. Don’t just read PUA material, think about it for yourself. Don’t take anything at face value. Game is a study on what attracts women and if you want to be successful at attracting them you have to understand the whole framework first and then all the important little nuances.

If you actually reach this point you’ll recognize that you have to practice alpha body language and probably have to buy some new clothes and shoes :) Do that and then go out with some friends just for fun. Don’t try to hit on girls yet. Observe them and yourself until you figure out some details which cannot be found in books. In the meantime be on the lookout for your chances. There won’t be many but there will be some. Know what IOIs are and look for them everywhere. You don’t need 3000+ approaches to get 4-5 lays, just be realistic about who you approach. The best PUA can open a set of 10s and might get a number or even a lay but don’t fuck yourself in the arse with a broomstick without lubricant (I’m talking figuratively here) by making the mistake of thinking you’re the hottest and newest shit and 10s are just waiting for you with ginas tingling. Calibrate. If you’re a 7, start out by approaching 6es. (You most probably won’t overgame them since you’re a beginner, just don’t use negs.) Take it slowly and always remember that you do it for the fun of it. Find the tools and the speed of escalation that you’re comfortable with and which actually work. Don’t be disheartened if you crash and burn, it happenes to everyone. Go for easy prey and build your confidence. Do your first attempts at places you don’t plan to visit again ever. Don’t take anything seriously; not pickup, not girls, not even yourself.

And remember that if you’re basically not the PUA type, most of your success will come from your extended social circle so be absolutely sure to learn the specifics and the pitfalls of social circle game. Learn text, phone and internet game as well – they are the easiest because your body language doesn’t matter, you have enough time to come up with something fun to say and it’s much easier to be bold. And if the need arises learn LTR game :)

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2 Responses to One problem with game

  1. Pingback: Weekend Link Fest – Sleeping in edition « Seasons of Tumult and Discord

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