If you can’t get laid, read this – part 2

If you can’t get laid and you browse the web for material which can help you, you inevitably find some people who’ll tell you don’t need to get laid and/or you shouldn’t want to. Be they MGTOW or just simple bitter men, they give you the advice to forget about women altogether. Their reasoning almost always include telling you to stick to the fake moral high ground I was talking about in part 1. They might phrase it like “you’re a man and your worth is not defined by pussy so you should do what you want and enjoy, and forget about women”. Or if they have a bit of natural talent at game they think you’ll get pussy anyways so their advice resembles the useless “be yourself”. Usually they aggressively attack game and PUAs. But it seems to me that their advice only work for themselves; either they are old enough to be not blinded by hormones and have their own kids already so they can forget about women, or they’re naturals at various levels who say you don’t need game to get laid.

But what if you want to get laid but can’t? Let me tell you there’s nothing wrong with you despite what anyone says. What you need is not moralizing but actual, useful advice. First of course you have to understand what I talked about in part 1. The next step is assessing your situation and setting up achievable goals. This might seem silly but it ain’t. Many fail miserably because they skip this step.

First of all, and this should be a disclaimer for all beginners: don’t expect miracles. If you can’t get laid for the life of you, don’t think that you’ll read a book and it’ll make you the next Brad Pitt or something. Never make the mistake this guy did:

It actually depressed the fuck out of me. (…) I realized then that “Game” could never ever make you better than a natural which to me meant that it didn’t really work.

Your aim shouldn’t be becoming “better than a natural”, that could only set you up for a fall. Game works, but it’s not a miracle cure for all your problems. If you want success like George Clooney’s I got bad news for you: it ain’t gonna happen.

So don’t be mad at me if I say you should objectively assess where you are and what are your possibilities. If you have too much self esteem and tend to think that you “deserve” supermodels you should probably try Roissy’s sex ranking test for men and adjust your self-image accordingly. If you already have low self esteem then don’t take the test, it will just depress you. The point is, try to determine your own sex rank because that’ll be a useful guide.

Now we get to a sensitive topic: there are things you know you should do but you don’t because you’re either lazy or find some excuses. I’m talking about the obvious stuff: going on a diet, working out, buying new and better clothes, and yes, better personal hygiene if needed. I’m not a fool like Obsidian, saying y’all stink, but there are people out there who should pay attention nonetheless. Do all these if you have the willpower because they really help. But don’t do it for women – do it for yourself. This applies to almost anything about game. If you do game as a shortcut into women’s pants it will probably backfire on you. Do it as self improvement and you’ll get better with women anyways. The “techniques” are the same but a different mindset will yield different results. More on this later.

There are less obvious things which will also help your success but are not directly linked to game. These include going out more, building a wider social circle and doing interesting stuff, like hobbies and such. Now going out is easily understandable because you will meet more people, and it’s the same with a wider social circle. “Doing interesting stuff” is a bit trickier. It will provide you with something interesting to say if you’re talking to someone new, and maybe a chance to take a girl on an exciting date. So, if you always wanted to try skydiving or scuba diving, you really should. It will show women that you’re exciting, have your life sorted out and your act put together. Expanding your social circle is easier than you might think, just keep in touch with your friends and family, or renew old friendships if needed. Be active. If you’re introverted this might seem tiring, but a dry spell lasting for years should be enough motivation to lift your ass and do something. If you can’t be forced into leaving your room then you’re beyond salvation and you might as well stop reading.

I talk about these now because they are important even before you try to date women. Game is a lot more than “faking” the body language and the chitchat of natural alphas. It’s a journey of improving yourself, becoming a better man whom women will find attractive. It’s important because sooner or later you will want a long term relationship (LTR) and then you will have to have substance. Negs and DHV stories will not cut it.

UPDATE regarding where you should aim: Roissy just had something similar to say in his recent post:

the goal of PUAdom is not to get nerds laid with “9s and 10s”, but to get them success with women a point or two above what they are normally used to dating.

Let me add: or get them to date girls at all.

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16 Responses to If you can’t get laid, read this – part 2

  1. Jake Turner says:

    Yeah this is good advice. I scored an 8 on Roissy’s scale, making me a classic beta, but I think I punch above my weight. For me, game has been about allowing me to never have long dry patches, and feel comfortable bedding and keeping women I would have considered out of my league before.

    I don’t actually want to bang loads of supermodels, just to have fun, have sex with a variety of women, and have options. I think this should be what men want when they get into it, but like you said it takes a while to get past the initial sales talk and expect miracles.

    One thing though is that I suspect game has the above listed effect on already socially well-adjusted men, but it has the capacity to resurrect a small number of committed omegas into genuine pick up geniuses. The problem is that these men remain dysfunctional, just in a different way.

  2. krauserpua says:

    When game is a shell of tricks wrapped around a total loser, it fails miserably. Unfortunately most PUAs I’ve met spend years in this mode. Eventually they tumble to the core truth that game is about personal transformation – about becoming the best possible you. That’s alot of hard work, painful introspection, and most guys won’t do it.

    High value girls do not consort with low value men, even if the later has “tight game”.

  3. assman says:

    “Never make the mistake this guy did…Your aim shouldn’t be becoming “better than a natural”, that could only set you up for a fall”

    I am the guy so why don’t I comment. Here is what I believe about game:

    Basically game was produced by bunch of socially retarded nerds who could never get a woman. Game is total bullshit, it doesn’t work and it will actually in many cases make it far more difficult to get a woman (e.g. Mystery method). The real truth is this: it is easy to get laid. You don’t need game. You just need to honest about what you want. Most naturals will tell you this. That its easy and that they don’t do anything special. They are right. As David X says “The best line is what you are thinking in your head when you see her if you have the balls to say it”

    The gamers remind me of Skinner’s bird experiment from :

    One of Skinner’s experiments examined the formation of superstition in one of his favorite experimental animals, the pigeon. Skinner placed a series of hungry pigeons in a cage attached to an automatic mechanism that delivered food to the pigeon “at regular intervals with no reference whatsoever to the bird’s behavior.” He discovered that the pigeons associated the delivery of the food with whatever chance actions they had been performing as it was delivered, and that they subsequently continued to perform these same actions

  4. Deansdale says:

    First of all, welcome, and know that I’m not trying to be rude or hostile towards you. I just think you made a mistake by misjudging where game can take you and how you should use it. It happens to a lot of people. I’m writing these posts exactly because I want people to avoid this mistake.

    “The real truth is this: it is easy to get laid. You don’t need game. You just need to be honest about what you want. Most naturals will tell you this.”
    Naturals tell you this because it is what they experience, but it does not work for non-naturals. It’s the same old same old “just be yourself” nonsense that never worked really.
    You say the Mystery Method doesn’t work. How come then that Mystery did bed a lot of women? If he was just a “socially retarded nerd” how could he have sex with models? I think it’s pretty obvious he didn’t heed the naturals’ advice “You just need to be honest about what you want.”

    Luckily we’re not pigeons. We have the mental capacity to observe real correlations and causality.

    And let me ask you this: did taking the naturals’ advice make you better then a natural?

  5. sestamibi says:

    I fully agree that it’s not easy to get laid, and for young guys it’s getting even harder. I continue to maintain that fewer and fewer men are having more and more sex, and a recent roissy/Chateau post concurs with numbers to back it up. These days 1’s and 2’s have the same bitch shields and sense of entitlement held by 9’s and 10’s. I know because I’ve been there.

    I also absolutely agree with you that you can’t win the lottery if you don’t buy a ticket, and one should get out of the house at a minimum. However, one has to measure the cost of the effort vs. the expected return. For example, losing weight is desirable in and of itself, and if you are 5′ 9″ and 250 lbs. you should do it for your health alone, but the marginal benefit of going from 180 to 160 may be a lot more difficult and not get you any (more) pussy.

    What’s really important is your history as you get older. If you are still a virgin at 40, it’s pretty unlikely that that’s going to change and you need to cope with it–not in the MGTOW sense “I don’t need pussy”. You still do, but you have to face up to the fact that it ain’t gonna happen. Even if it did, what would be the point? You would regret that your first experience is with a 50-year old grandma, when it should have been at 17 with your 16-year old girlfriend in her parents’ house on a Tuesday afternoon after school.

    I’m not trying to be flip about this. I had one relationship in my twenties, which brought me no social proof, but rather amused snickering. One nasty bitch I had just met at a party back then in fact said “YOU have a girlfriend??!” Even today, after being married thirteen years (and in a location where no one has known me otherwise), I know the women where I work are thinking “Good grief. She must have been really desperate!”

    The only positive aspect of getting older is that your desire wanes. You will start thinking more about other things in life and how your freedom will buy them. You won’t even have to jack off to get to sleep any more.

    What is unspoken in all of this discussion across these websites is that it once wasn’t like this. There was a time in recent history when a guy with a job and a house was considered a good enough catch and could support a family. But now we have made conscious public policy and cultural choices to promote the interests of cunt making $50K married to men making $200K to compete with single men for jobs and power, at the same time as we have given single motherhood exalted status. It’s one thing not to get laid; it’s quite another to be starved to death as a matter of law.

  6. Deansdale says:

    fewer and fewer men are having more and more sex
    …proving that what attracts women is the same, so almost every women are attracted to the same handful of guys. It’s not hard to see that “just be yourself” is BS and if you want more success you have to observe these “alpha” guys. Mind you, I didn’t say “copy” but observe.

    If you are still a virgin at 40
    That’s really bad. I mentioned this in part 1: if you’re a virgin by the time you reach 20, pick up the phone and call an escort. Drop your moralizing and act while it’s not already too late. Besides, it will help you to get laid later.

    There was a time in recent history when a guy with a job and a house was considered a good enough catch and could support a family.
    This is not unspoken. Most of us know this. Sadly there’s nothing we can do about it. Game was born exactly because the old ways do not work anymore.

  7. infiniium says:

    if you’re a virgin by the time you reach 20, pick up the phone and call an escort.

    I think if you can’t get laid for 2-3 weeks you should definitely call a hooker. Takes away pressure and gives you a clear sight on the value of a f.ck. BTW a hooker is cheaper then a GF, does not give you the bullshit and you have your free time.

    Keep up the good work, Deansdale.

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  10. Rob says:

    Meh, uncontrollable sex drive only occurs for about 1/3 of human life (or less). One thing that happens with the “game crowd” is they are placing more value on getting laid than what it is worth. 2/3 of your life will still be spent in a state where pussy is not your number one goal or thought. What happens too often with game/sex is that it is like being popular in school. It seems really important at the time to wear the right type of jeans, but in the end, it doesn’t really matter too much – certainly not as much as what you once thought it did.

    It’s the same way with women, just as it’s the same thing with money. Men in their teens and twenties are obsessed with pussy, while men in their 30’s and 40’s are obsessed with careers and creating a pot of money… men in their 50’s and 60’s realize that it was all a big scam, and many of the things they chased after were simply not worth the price they have paid.

    I would certainly like to see the “Game” crowd stop behaving like women and calling MRA’s bitter little whiners.

    I’ll tell you this, many in the MRM crowd have bedded enormously more amounts of women than the average commenter over at Roissy’s – and many of them don’t consider themselves to be PUA masters – however, I am simply amazed at how “few” women so many “gamers” think is successful.

    I know three “naturals” – two, at the age of forty, have achieved the mid-200’s of women they have bedded, and the third is just dripping with pussy and must have screwed at least in the mid 400’s by now.

    I myself am in the mid-two digits, and have never studied “game” as a subject until about 3 or 4 years ago – aside from how to be assertive with people in general and lead them to a conclusion you (both) desire – this comes from a career in sales, rather than game. I have known this for years now, that I get laid more than most of my friends (better looking friends too) because they are so chicken-shit with women that they never even give the opportunity. Whether in sales or in seduction, the person who asks for the sale will always get better results than those who simply hang around waiting for strangers to offer you what you want of their own accord. Btw, I know of another highly visible MGTOW’r who has shagged upwards of 80 chicks without studying game. Puma once made an interesting comment in regard to gamers traditional (and not much different than female) attacks on MGTOW/the “bitter” MRM – he said that the only difference between gamer’s and MGTOW is about ten or twenty years. I agree.

    At any rate, game without the MRM is just as useless as the MRM without an understanding of Game.

    The MRM has more or less realized that game is a valuable tool/ally – however, it is disconcerting to see so many men embrace female behaviour (which is what game really is) and take it beyond the useful and to also immitate female behaviour in mocking other men’s sexuality.

    Gamers did not “invent” game. Hell, even read what I have been posting on my blog for the past few months – Bonecrker, Philalethes and Zenpriest’s words. All three of these men are well acquainted with game, to nearly the same extent as Roissy, and it shows through in virtually every post they make.

    Sure young guys gotta get laid. I know that.

    Children also need to play.

    People also need to work and eat.

    But everything in moderation, remember?

    A child that is really good at playing, and nothing else, will not develop properly.

    Neither will a person focusing their self worth on pussy.

    By the way, I could easily do away with at least 60-75% of the pussy I’ve had over the years. It just was simply not worth the trouble it took to get it, and if I were to go back in life, I would choose to have less pussy and less headaches, although I realize that biologically it doesn’t work that way at the time. Most of us “older guys” get that, and are simply trying to state how the cycle of life works – and, men have been trying to pass this info on for centuries already. MGTOW is nothing new under the sun.

    Marriage is like sticking your hand into a bag of snakes and hoping to pull out an eel. – Leonardo da Vinci

    At any rate, both Gamers and the MRM could do eachother a benefit by dropping this petty little schoolyard fight of mocking… but I have to say, gamers seem to be the ones that don’t want to drop it, as 75% of gamers (falsely) consider themselves as alphas, and criticize everyone else as a loser beta. (It’s a zero sum game, so for every new alpha created, another alpha drops down to beta – unless you are both going to cram your cocks into the same pussy at the same time – the top 20% is always going to be the top 20%, just like the top 20% of hockey players are still the top 20%, even though they are 100 times more skilled than hockey players from 100-years ago). Also, alpha and beta are not constant states, but rather ebb and flow throughout a man’s life – and much of this ebb and flow also comes from a realization, often through swallowing bitter pills, of what the MRM often speaks about. Most of the “game” what guys like Mystery talk about is not really much more than Salesmanship 101 (literally) combined with the knowledge written down over thousands of years by men that are very much like the modern MGTOW’r.

  11. Deansdale says:

    I’m an MRA and I “study” game. I don’t see any contradictions and I certainly don’t want to fight. If we want to have real power we can’t afford to fight amongst ourselves.

    I always thought that MGTOW means not giving a shit about expectations and others’ opinions, that the core idea of MGTOW is doing what I want to do. I was surprised when I found out lots of guys said it meant forgetting about women altogether. I think that’s not necessary. I can do what I want while living with a woman. I respect others’ decisions but MGTOW for me doesn’t mean being lonely. So, I’m an MRA, an MGTOW and a PUA of sorts and it all fits together perfectly for me. I have my own life with my own goals and dreams; I fight against feminist retards and misandrist laws; and I am learning and practicing how to handle women.
    There’s no reason for any of us to fight against each other.

  12. Rivelino says:

    Nice read.

    It is interesting to enter an entirely new perspective on game. Wow.

    Guys, game is the real thing. Every time I hear about game skeptics, I am surprised. Maybe I have always had more of a self-help attitude than other dudes, and thus have been more open-minded to getting “advice” from other people on how to become a better person, but seriously.

    A lot of what game teaches — namely, using reverse psychology to catch a girl’s attention, practicing your “performance art” to maintain her interest until she can get to know you better, and having better posture and hygiene to present your best self t her — well, that stuff just rings true, doesn’t it?

    It rings true for anything, not just girls. If we were talking business, and we were talking business presentations, or developing a sales pitch — if we replaced “fuck girls” with “successfully close sales presentations” — the advice would be the same.

    How to successfully present a sales pitch to a group of business men?

    1. Reverse psychology would catch their attention
    2. Practicing your presentation sounds like a good idea
    3. Being well-groomed with positive body language also sounds like a good idea.

    Ultimately, game is just about becoming your best self. It is about being stronger, happier, more alive, more in the moment.

    Success with girls is just a side benefit of the real goal — power, confidence, harmony.

    I myself am a good example. I was extremely shy, sensitive, and submissive growing up. Man, I have stories to tell. I was a mama’s boy, a Catholic boy, and an artsy, hopeless romantic, with a thin frame, skinny wrists, and deep insecurities about my appearance.

    Now, I fuck everything in sight.

    Just kidding.

    Now, I am much more confident, proud, outgoing, charming, self-reliant, dominant, assertive, and just flat out more powerful. I live life by my own rules — almost.

    I am getting there. And game has been huge in helping me.

    Of course there are a lot of charlatans out there. These are the ones to trust. These guys are the real thing:

    Mystery
    Style
    Roissy
    Roosh (although he is in a funk right now)
    Tyler Durden’s Blueprint
    Mehow
    David Deangelo
    Doctor Paul and MindOS (haven’t listened to it yet, but comes highly recommended form someone I trust)

    Alright, I guess I had a lot of feelings on that subject.

    Bottom line: don’t be afraid to change. Life is good. Life is beautiful. The world is full of abundance. The world is full of beautiful girls. And they are desperate to get fucked by a real man — you.

  13. La Vagina Dentanta says:

    “I can do what I want while living with a woman.”

    Have you ever actually LIVED WITH anyone? You can’t do what you want all the time. You have to compromise quite a bit. That’s really the whole point of a relationship. Anyone who is not willing to do this should not be sharing their space with anyone.

    That’s precisely why I live alone now. I want to do what I want to do – all the time.

    Selfish? Why, yes!

    At least I acknowledge that and don’t pretend that I’m “live in material” anymore.

    And sharing a bedroom every single night, night after night, is one of the worst parts of the deal. I’m so happy not to have to do that anymore.

  14. Doug1 says:

    Rob–

    Sales done really well is a kind of game, and many of the same techniques apply in selling yourself as an emotional and sexual dynamo to girls.

    (It’s a zero sum game, so for every new alpha created, another alpha drops down to beta – unless you are both going to cram your cocks into the same pussy at the same time – the top 20% is always going to be the top 20%, just like the top 20% of hockey players are still the top 20%, even though they are 100 times more skilled than hockey players from 100-years ago)

    Well if we define alphas of all grades as being the top 20% of men in sexual attractiveness to women, then this is obviously true by definition. However if we define alphas as men who can quickly bed hot women (7 and up, though some would include “cute” 6’s) and keep their sexual interest for as long as we want, then this isn’t necessarily true. The main think leading all women from 6s and even to a degree 5s up to tend to want to screw only with alphas is the slut permission of feminism and their own career independence, but a secondary thing is the pussification of so many white gen Y guys by the post feminist schools and media and so on. Game can reverse that for many higher betas especially, and make them functionally lesser alphas even if they aren’t in the top 15-20% of guys in male gina tingling attractiveness. Especially if they’ve got other things going like career success.

  15. Deansdale says:

    Have you ever actually LIVED WITH anyone?
    Buzz off. It’s one thing to disagree with theories I present and another to attack me personally with bullshit. It’s the last warning.

    You can’t do what you want all the time. You have to compromise quite a bit. That’s really the whole point of a relationship.
    If you have a healthy personality and a good LTR you want to do a lot of things for which you need your partner. That’s not a compromise, that’s a win-win scenario. The compromise part comes into the picture when there’s a clash of egos but that can be kept to a minimum if your woman is not combative. She doesn’t have to be especially submissive, she just have to be a normal, healthy girl who recognizes feminist misandrist bullshit for what it is. Men should avoid women tainted by misandry or with a permanent chip on their shoulders.

    And sharing a bedroom every single night, night after night, is one of the worst parts of the deal. I’m so happy not to have to do that anymore.
    I wonder then what exactly you’re doing here.
    I find sharing a bedroom with my LTR a calming and pleasureful experience.

  16. BobBomb says:

    big bunch of betas bitching.

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