There’s no end to articles on what women find desirable in men, and most of the time they give you an answer like this: intelligence, a sense of humor and kindness. But it’s so obviously bullsh*t it’s mind boggling. Let me ask you this: have you ever seen a guy with a PhD in Physics giving a lecture on quantum theory and then taking some of his groupies to his hotel room for a night of fun? The answer is of course no, groupies are after rock stars and such. Are rock stars intelligent and kind? Do they have a great sense of humor? Even if they do, that’s not what women find attractive about them.
There is of course a logical explanation why women give answers like this: this is what they think. The real truth is not very complicated but hidden. Lots of guys figured it out lately, most of them PUAs.
Thing is, women unconsciously divide men into two groups: attractive or not. And when the question arises about what they want from a man, they only imagine the first group in their minds, and start talking about how they’d choose from that group. What they really mean is they want somebody from the first group who is intelligent and caring, etc. But guys have to understand that intelligence and humor can not get you from the second group (unattractive) to the first (attractive). What men want is the secret of ‘gina tingles, but intelligence and humor are not it.
These are “secondary traits”. If you’re already attractive, these can help you to be more successful than other attractive men, but if you’re not attractive they’re worth a lot less. What are the “primary traits”? PUAs will tell you: social dominance, status and such but they’re not the topic of this post.
When I was young I always thought that my IQ will help me get laid. In a sense it did, but not that much really, and sometimes it was holding me back. Lots of less intelligent guys fared a lot better than me and I was confused. I came to the conclusion that intelligence and humor won’t really help you, but I was wrong.
Your IQ will help you indirectly. IQ is only a secondary trait in dating but it can help you understand how things work and what the primary traits are, so it gives you a chance to become attractive. This is what we call game. It’s about using your head to figure things out and then build on this knowledge to gain more success. In a sense game is the “weapon” intelligent guys always wanted.
Game is not for everyone. To understand the underlying principles (sociology, evopsych, etc) you need to have a certain IQ. Without that game is just a bag of tricks. Yes, tricks themselves can help but it’s not the same. To beat unexpected challenges, to be able to improvise you need a deeper understanding. This is especially true in a long term relationship because your girl will inevitably see below the surface (if she has an IQ similar to yours, that is). Quality women can’t be fooled for long and I believe you want quality women for LTRs.
So, to answer the original question: yes, intelligence is attractive but you have to “use it on yourself”, not “on the girl”. Use it to understand what attracts her and develop the necessary traits. Is humor attractive? In and of itself no, it isn’t. When a girl listens to a stand-up comedian she won’t get ‘gina tingles. But humor is needed as a “lubricant” in edgy situations, for example shit tests. You have to have a decent sense of humor to be able to reframe things. And in an LTR it can help you to smoothen rough edges.
So you’re intelligent and have a good sense of humor but never had great success with women? Wander around bewildered no more, the solution is here :)