Are cougars a myth?

New Study Claims ‘Cougars’ Do Not Exist” says Time Magazine and some others too. They all reference this study about “online advertisers age preferences”.

I see a basic problem here. What people “prefer” is rarely what they get. Of course people in online dating say they want to meet their perfect mates: men want 21 yo playmates and women want famous rich guys. Does this mean that cougars don’t exist? Not by a long shot.

It would be hard to deny that there are young guys “dating” older women out there. (“Dating” in this context most of the times means short term sexual flings.) Even the distinguished Paul Elam “admits” he did that:

“I am not knocking it. When I was 21 I had a 45 year old woman show me what fer, good and proper, for three weeks in a cabin in Oklahoma. It was an educational rite of passage and a very fond memory in my life. Wouldn’t trade it for the world.”

Do these guys prefer older women? No way. It’s just they’re blinded by hormones and would fuck anything that moves. (No disrespect, Paul :) If there’s no playmate willing to go to bed with them they quickly settle for practically anything. So there’s a demand (of sorts) for cougars, but is there a supply? Obviously there is because otherwise these young guys wouldn’t have those fond memories. But how come women are willing to have sex with guys so radically different from what they say they want? What’s in it for the cougars? There are many explanations. First of all, most of them are sexually starved because of being alone or being in a sexless marriage with a hapless beta. Most of them want to feel sexually desired but they know that real high-status men of their age are looking for younger quality women. They also know that young guys with the “promise of high status” plus the status boost of being young are constantly looking for sex and are willing to stroke the ego of an older woman. Some try to hold on to their own youth (even if it’s already gone). It’s not that surprising considering how many western women are just overgrown little princesses. They are deluded into thinking that if they bag a young guy then they themselves are young – or at least look young. Many times they just grab what’s in front of them. They are not intentionally looking for younger men but those are the easiest to “catch”. Here’s what Paul Elam had to say about his experience, perfectly describing both sides of the equation:

“I was a youngster with a gold mine of a horny older woman desperate for sexual relevance.”

Cougars are not a myth. What is a myth is the feminist notion of cougars being “empowered” women doing it for fun. They are not “majestic predators on the prowl” but women of fading beauty trying to hold on to the last remnants of their youth.

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12 Responses to Are cougars a myth?

  1. novaseeker says:

    The myth is that there is a mushrooming of LTRs between women in their 40s and men in their 20s. That isn’t really happening to any large degree.

    What *is* happening is more sex-based flings between women in their 40s and men in their 20s. These are not new, The Graduate featured one of them over 40 years ago. It’s not a rare occurrence for a man in his 20s to sex a woman in her 40s. It’s happening more frequently now than in the past simply because a large number of women in their 40s are unmarried and looking for sex/fun/adventure. But almost all of these relationships are sex-based flings.

    The feminist press is using this as a means to stick men in the eye — as in “haha, we can now be like men and troll younger mates, too while we ignore the piggish sexist men our own age and older!”. But the reality is that the percentage of durable LTRs between women in their 40s and men in their 20s is tiny. It’s true that the number of sex-based flings is rising, but that’s just a result of the divorce culture more than anything else. If there had previously been a significant number of 40-something women offering sex to 20-something men as a means of self-esteem validation, there would have also previously been quite a few of these flings happening, because most 20-something men will take sex when it is on offer.

  2. Paul Elam says:

    No offense taken, as I really do my best not to take offense when someone tells it like it is. At 21, I would indeed fuck almost anything that moved, or even anything that wouldn’t move out of the way. :)

    I think many young men have had a similar experience to mine, but I agree with NS here. This isn’t about relationships, it’s just sex.

  3. La Vaginia Dentanta says:

    Nova you are right.

    It’s also a myth that large amounts of women are on the aggressive prowl for men 15, 20 years younger than them.

    What isn’t a myth though is women in relationships with men in their same age range (10 year generation).

    I know several women dating or married to men within 10 years younger to them. That is not cougar, that is same age range. Nor did they aggressively chase these men, the men pursued them.

    Some people are calling a 35 year old woman married to a 29 year old man a “cougar” and that is just ridiculous. 10 years up or down, you are in the same generation.

  4. Deansdale says:

    10 years up and down is way too much. A 40 yo woman dating a 30 yo man is a cougar. The “normal” age range is about 5 years down for women. Of course this range widenes with age but 10 years is only “normal” if she’s 80 and the man is 70 :)

  5. La Vagina Dentanta says:

    Then I guess most of my friend are not “normal”. Oh well.

  6. Deansdale says:

    Times are changing. But not for the better :P

  7. LVD says:

    I’m not complaining!


  8. imnobody says:

    BS. The percentage of women married to women 10 years their junior is very small. The plural of ‘anecdote’ is not ‘data’.

  9. Deansdale says:

    “The percentage of women married to women 10 years their junior is very small.”
    You can say that again :)

  10. LVD says:

    “The percentage of women married to women 10 years their junior is very small.”
    You can say that again :)

    LOL! But not for long……………..

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  12. NMH says:

    I am 46 and dating someone 5 years older than me. It does bother me that chronologically she is older than me, but she has aged extremely well and on most days looks 40.

    I think the key question is what is the individuals biological age. If a 40 year old man is dating a 50 year old woman, but she is one of the few that has managed to age extremely well, a cougar relationship will work out. But the chances of meeting a 50 year old woman who has aged extremely well are next to nothing.

    When you are young, a LTR with a cougar is a HUGE chance, although you may not realize it at the time. When I was 29 I dated a 40 year old–still very hot and sexy for her age. Based on some of the lines she was getting on her face, I suspect her looks probably crashed shortly after that. If you are a man who is 50 and dating a 60 year old weathered warpig, you are fucked.

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