In one of his recent articles Roissy talks about dating down. He is of course totally right that if you date down you need less game. But he talks about women’s beauty like it’s the only thing that matters at all – the be-all, end-all characteristic that defines everything relationship-wise. In this case the opponents of game might be right: he recognizes no other value than pussy.
In my personal life I value other things too. Maybe I’m not alpha enough but I like to avoid unnecessary conflicts, I like my LTR to be calm and relaxed and I don’t like the idea of being constantly alert for shit tests and such. For this I’m more than willing to date down a point or two. And I don’t think I’m less of a man because of this. I’ve learned long ago that being satisfied with what I have brings me closer to happiness than chasing dreams could.
One important reminder: I’m talking about LTRs here. Purely sexual adventures are a different topic.
I have two main objections against his post. First of all, two points is not the colossal difference Roissy describes it to be. He paints things like an 8 is an angel but a 6 is a warpig. Bullshit. And a two point difference can be offset with willingness, of which I must say that in general a lower market value girl will be a lot more willing to do anything for you.
The other objection is that he downplays the very real advantages of dating down and where he mentions them he acts like they are things to be ashamed of.
“Date a warpig! She will put up with EVERYTHING and ANYTHING and never bitch once. (…) I know men who slum it for this very reason, and while I personally find that lifestyle incomprehensible and utterly distasteful — I mean, you may as well become a monk since you’ll be living a life completely devoid of any beauty or hedonistic pleasure — it does lend itself to a certain simplicity in managing affairs and obtaining the necessary freedom to pursue alternative pleasures.”
This is very “poetic” but extremely exaggerated. If you’re an 8, is dating a 6 distasteful? I don’t think so. And I’m positively sure that dating down is not devoid of hedonistic pleasure. (Like Ferdinand Bardamu said, sex skill is probably inversely proportional to market value.) Also, I think a GF without bitchiness or having the freedom to pursue alternative pleasures is actually very nice.
The thing to understand here is that the hypergamous instincts of women never stop working in an LTR so if your market value is the same as your GF’s then you will have to game her 24/7 if you don’t want her to think about dumping you for better prospects. If you’re both 7s she will always feel deep down that she could “do better”. If you don’t have proper game this is a recipe for disaster and the divorce rate shows this quite clearly.
There are two options for any man: game 24/7 or date down. It’s very upsetting since we all dream about shacking up with a perfect 10, but even if you can grab one her instincts will never be satisfied and the relationship will be anything but pleasant. The sad reality is that no HB10 will settle for an average guy. So if you date up you will most probably live in the eye of a shit storm. If you date at your level everything depends on the personality of your woman; if she’s anything like average western women you’re fucked. You will be shit tested a lot and most probably dumped somewhere along the way. If you date down your GF won’t be the most beautyful woman you could ever score but you can live like a king. You just have to avoid doing serious mistakes and mild betaization attempts, which can be comfortably done with basic game. [As a side note, if you’re the type to do that you can date hotter babes on the side. Having a good-natured but not-so-spectacular woman for an LTR does not mean you have to give up on hot babes.]
What Roissy says assumes that it’s easy to find girls with good personalities regardless of their sexual market value but it’s a common observation that the higher we look the worse the average temperament. Of course there are exceptions but I won’t keep looking for the perfect 10 with the devoted, kind and mature personality I like in women. I found a woman with such a personality and I don’t mind dating down a point or two for her. She’s not a 10, not even close, but I was never happier and that’s what matters to me. (And I’m not a 10 either :)
Roissy paints dating down as something distasteful and appalling but I see nothing wrong with “settling” for a lot more pleasant and comfortable relationship with a girl a point or two below the best you could score for a one night stand. And all this is even more important if you marry that girl and/or you plan to have children with her. I’d rather live a pleasant life with a 6 than be nagged to death by an 8. Yes, with tight game I could handle that 8 but I don’t want to be on my toes all the time. Sometimes I’m careless, sometimes I’m lazy and I don’t want to lose my LTR because of that.