Will it ever end?

We’ve sure talked a lot about domestic violence. And it seems we still have a long way to go ’till we really get somewhere.

Via NSWATM I found an article with a promising title: Domestic Violence Isn’t Just About What Men Do to Women. It starts with a confession by a woman about her own DV problems:

I divorced the father of my four kids after 16 years together, and I was arrested three times: once for assaulting him, once for assaulting his new girlfriend, and the last time for violating the order of protection he’d taken out after the first incident, when I upended a coffee table in his direction on Christmas Eve, two months after we’d separated.

Well, waddaya know, woman actually do commit DV. So far so good. But a few paragraphs later we find the first signs of feminist bullshit:

Experts are now breaking domestic violence into two different categories: intimate terrorism and situational couple violence. Collins explains: “So-called “intimate terrorism,” overwhelmingly perpetrated by men, is embedded in a general pattern of power and control (…)”

Go fuck yourself. Overwhelmingly.

When will we ever get to the point where common sense becomes the norm? People – men and women – are violent because they are angry. “Control” has nothing to do with it, nor “power”, nor any other fucked-up feminist fetishes. For feminists everything is about power and control. They are obsessed with it and they project this obsession onto normal people.

Just like the woman writing the confession in question, everyday people hit others only when their anger reaches a threshold. You should know the scene from cartoons already: a red face with steam coming out of the ears. That is when people lose self-control and they lash out at the source of their frustration. Again: it has nothing to do with power or control.

If my explanation is not good enough for you, here’s an expert’s:

(…) what women and men engage in roughly equally, according to Penn State sociologist Michael Johnson, PhD, is called “situational couple violence.” The author of dozens of papers and a book on domestic violence, Johnson says the situational type doesn’t permeate a couple’s life but bursts out when specific tensions ramp up.

There are two conflicting theories for DV (the real and the feminist one), and someone came up with the bright idea that these should be coopted. Problem is, you can not integrate truth and lies. And we have a rather strange situation now, where common sense is forced to exist hand-in-hand with feminist dogma.

People know that the source of violence is anger. And statistics show that men and women are committing DV at about the same rates. But, but, but! There must be a hidden type of violence overwhelmingly perpetrated by men, with a pattern of power and control! Nobody have seen this, only feminist scholars, but hey, we must believe them because women never lie. And they are not violent. Yeah, yeah.

the cell stank (…) It was packed with women: a whip-smart 16-year-old lesbian named Paradise whom I initially took for a boy, in for assault; two enormous women, lovers, who’d engaged in a domestic brawl­—one bandaged above her left eye

Tell me it ain’t so… Lesbians commiting DV? No way!

Sexual abuse by a woman partner has been reported by up to 50% of lesbians

WHAT THE FUCK? And this is coming from the University of Missouri’s National Violence Against Women Prevention Research Center! No patriarchs there, that’s for sure.

(Suddenly the “1 in 4 women raped at college” bullshit starts to make some sense, if you recognize that maybe half of those “victims” have been raped by other women, but I digress.)

Now things are starting to get weird:

Lesbians who abuse another women may do so for reasons similar to those that motivate heterosexual male batterers.

So, there’s this basic feminist dogma that when committing DV women are just “victims” of their own overflowing emotions but men are “terrorists”. But lesbians can be terrorists too, despite having a vagina. So, dear experts, please enlighten me, if a woman can be an emotional terrorist in a lesbian relationship, what stops women from being one in hetero relationships?

I’ll tell you: nothing.

Feminist lies contradicting reality and contradicting themselves. What else is new?

But wait! There’s more:

Many lesbian batterers grew up in violent households and were physically, sexually, or verbally abused and/or witnessed their mothers being abused by fathers or stepfathers.

They have an excuse! They are innocents, no, they are victims! It’s men’s fault! When a lesbian slaps her lover it still is a man’s fault somehow. All abuse must come from men, because, you know, women are never violent.

Let me get this straight: according to this theory, at least 50% of lesbians must come from violent homes. They might as well say that DV causes lesbianism.

The seething hate and the anti-male bias is staggering.

Also, let’s see what the writer of the confession has to say, a paragraph somehow missing from the article at Racialicious:

Between my parents, the anger frequently turned physical. (…) she hit Dad on the head with a beer bottle, and an ambulance took him to Bellevue Hospital for stitches. Emilio remembers Mom throwing pots at Dad and a general sense that when our father visited, he was always late and she was always furious. (…) And as much as I dislike my father (…) he wasn’t the initiator; from what I saw, it was all her.

She is following in her mother’s footsteps. Illuminating. But let’s continue with the article:

Violence appears to be about as common among lesbian couples as among heterosexual couples.

I have yet to see a statistic that half of all hetero relationships have some form of sexual abuse. Lesbians commit more DV than gays or hetero men, that is 100% sure.

In addition, a unique element for lesbians is the homophobic environment that surrounds them.

Let me ensure you, most men in the anglosphere is surrounded by a misandric environment. But the main point is: do we have to always search for excuses for women? Because that is what these people are doing. It’s always the fault of others. Their fathers must have abused them, their environment is hostile, what else can they come up with? And why aren’t these excuses applied to men? Is it impossible that they were abused (by their mothers for example), or that they live in a hostile environment? Why is it that excuses only work for women?

I had some difficulty finding the type of easily shared information [on gay DV] as I found for lesbian violence

I wonder why that is. Could it be that it is swept under the rug because gay men are less violent than lesbians? Nah.

So, it seems that common sense is spreading, but most sources still espouse feminist bullshit. The facts are clear: women are just as violent as men. But hey, don’t let truth stand in the way of some good old feminist male-bashing. Women are just as violent as men, but women have all the excuses while men have all the blame.

What was the title of the article again? “Domestic Violence Isn’t Just About What Men Do to Women”. Half a point for good will, but still not nearly good enough. Maybe a D-.

ps. Want to see some more interesting stuff?

In the 16 years Q. and I were together, I can think of at least five times that I hit him, usually in the face. (If asked, he might come up with a few more.) (…) Q. never hit me back until the Christmas Eve fight, and even then it was really in self-defense; I was going after him like a panther. He was living in a rental down the street from our Brooklyn house, which I’d been granted in the divorce (…)

(…) Steinmetz, drawing on an exhaustive analysis of the 1975 National Family Violence Survey, proclaimed that “the percentage of wives having used physical violence often exceeds that of the husbands, but…wives also exceed husbands in the frequency with which these acts occur.” Steinmetz’s article infuriated academics and laypeople, men and women alike, who thought she was obscuring the bigger problem—male on female violence—when it only had begun to be addressed. Steinmetz was the object of an unsuccessful letter-writing campaign to deny her tenure; she received a bomb threat at her daughter’s wedding (…)

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9 Responses to Will it ever end?

  1. Richard says:

    Thank you for writing this.

    Domestic violence has NOTHING to do with control.

    In my mid 20-s to early 30-s, I saw all of my friends go to jail for DV.
    In all fairness, one of them actually DID hit his girlfriend.
    His exact words, “We were arguing like we always do, and I lost it”.

    I LOST IT.

    Somebody who “loses it” is not in control of anything – not even themselves.

    Domestic violence is about people who lack self-control and resort to violence to resolve conflicts instead of talking them through.

    And, the America Journal of Public Health clearly shows that women fall into that category more than men:

    http://ajph.aphapublications.org/cgi/content/short/97/5/941

    All of that makes more sense than the warped man-hating feminist ideal.

  2. TDOM says:

    The problem with the feminist view of DV is that it is correct in about 15% of all cases. It is this 15% that the Duluth Model for intervention is based upon. Thus about 15% of cases actually do involve men who “batter” women and this is frequently about power and control. Unfortunately, the Duluth Model is applied by the industry to all cases, thereby exaggerating the numbers and creating and perpetuating the myth that DV is all male perp vs. female victim. This information can be found in the literature that the Duluth Model uses to support itself, although it is buried and difficult to find. Just as difficult to find is the acknowledgement that the model does not work for the remaining 85% of cases.
    Duluth is misapplied then, in about 85% of all cases. Power and control may have something to do with some of these other cases, but there are many other explanations such as anger, jealousy, attention getting, etc.
    The feminist fascination with power and control began at the outset of feminism itself. Early feminists considered themselves sexually repressed by men who held power and control over their sexuality. This is how the patriarchy oppressed women, by maintaining power and control over their sexuality. Second wave feminists turned this into rape culture and abortion rights and added domestic violence into the mix to further demonize men and masculinity.
    TDOM

  3. Deansdale says:

    Ok, let’s assume 15% of DV cases are about “power and control”. I see no reason whatsoever to believe that women wouldn’t batter for these reasons just like men. There are lots of women out there with serious issues about power and control, like feminists for example.
    I do not believe feminists’ underlying principle that men are evil and women are good.
    Research like Fiebert’s or Steinmetz’s prove that women commit DV as often as men, and I don’t see how some “hidden” type of DV could exist which is invisible to all, except feminists.
    This “power and control” mantra is the same one they spew about rape, and it is total nonsense, to put it mildly.

  4. Pingback: Linkage is Good for You: Vacations Are Also Good for You Edition

  5. Mahoney (the keyboard warrior) says:

    Speaking of domestic violence!

    Here’s a very illustrative interview with Lorena Bobbit that is simply required viewing for all participants in the manosphere. Notice how many shots of her sorrowful crying face and the cheery disposition of the female interviewer. Lorena states that when women say they want to do the same thing, she warns them against it by pointing to the pain and suffering SHE went through as a result of those actions. SHE went to counseling for many years but now SHE is okay, SHE has forgiving her ex-husband for the abuse she suffered at his hands hand’s but SHE hasn’t forgotten.

    http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/video/lorena-bobbitt-revisited-17-years-later-11764792

  6. Nutz says:

    Experts are now breaking domestic violence into two different categories: intimate terrorism and situational couple violence. Collins explains: “So-called “intimate terrorism,” overwhelmingly perpetrated by men, is embedded in a general pattern of power and control (…)”

    This is what’s known as “moving the goalposts”. Feminism does this all the time, like when they redefine words so they’re more friendly to their ideology (even if that means violating reality).

  7. evilwhitemalempire says:

    @ Mahoney
    There is actually one thing in that video that made up for everything else about it.
    It is most heartening to learn that somewhere out there in the world there were some people who very clearly scared her into reverting back to her maiden name.
    To those people out there (be they male or female) I thank you.

  8. Jennie says:

    So you claim that women are just as violent as men? Ha! That’s truly laughable! What planet are YOU living on? Your entire blog is full of shit. Women as a gender are NOTHING like men, thank Goddess! As I said before, read the damn paper and watch the news. I have read that sexual violence towards women in college is on the rise–google it if you don’t believe me. Someone out there is doing the raping, and it surely ain’t the Easter bunny! You guys also like to play with guns and blow stuff up when you were “sweet, innocent little boys” (puke!) As adults, your violent tendencies continue. Whoo likes to start wars? Not women! Who likes to feel powerful carrying around big guns? Certainly not women. Who loves to “blow stuff up, and kill and terrorize people? Definitely not women. We find other ways to deal with our anger. Feminism would not exist without you men!! You’ve always dominated us from the caveman era on up til now. We are saying now–enough! We don’t wanna be stuck at home all day with the kids while you go to work and have affairs with your ” secretaries.” We will NOT be your unpaid slaves cooking, cleaning, and fucking you whenever you want it. Men want to always be the “breadwinner” and make all of the money (and control it as well). Money = power, and there’s no way your going to give us any! You guys refuse to treat us as equals, or even human beings at that! In steps feminism. We need feminism because we are sick and tired of being treated like shit by you guys. We are tired of living in a PATRIARCHY. Patriarchy just doesn’t work anymore. Things are changing. Get with the times! The more independent we as women are getting, the more backlash we receive from you guys. Why is there a rise in rapes in this country and beyond? You men wanna put us women in our place! Its not gonna happen; more and more of us are becoming seperatists and from bisexuals to lesbians. Its the wave of the future! Deal with it, and quit trying to stunt our growth!!

  9. Deansdale says:

    I suspect you’re the fat girl in this video at 0:54… Amirite?

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