Athol strikes again

If you’re in an LTR you might want to read his latest post. If you’re in a bad LTR you should read it.


“As unromantic as it sounds, marriage is an economic transaction. The woman sells “wife” and the man sells “husband”. The woman buys “husband” and the man buys “wife”. Part of the job description of “wife” is having sex with her husband. Part of the job description of “husband” is being someone a wife would want to have sex with.”

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22 Responses to Athol strikes again

  1. Kathy says:

    Look ! Two people who love each other unconditionally just do not relate to one another in such terms.. This clinical crap is for people that marry for something other than real love..

    Women who marry just to have kids and men who marry with the view to getting a regular root are not marrying for the right reasons.

    Athol spouts crap on occasions. Sometimes I really do think that he just runs out of things to say. ;)

  2. Rmaxd says:

    @Klueless Kathy

    You dont even know what unconditional love is …

    Also women dont marry for love … you clearly dont understand why women marry …

  3. deti says:

    In intergender relationships, there is no such thing as unconditional love.

    Trust me: No matter how much you think your wife loves you, there are things that will make her not love you enough to cheat on you or leave you.

    A new wife may love her husband, but in the decision to marry, her love for him is secondary at best. Women ordinarily marry for any of the following:
    1. She is screaming toward The Wall and needs to lock in a husband before her expiration date.
    2. She wants to have kids before her expiration date.
    3. Her family is pressuring her to marry. Her parents are pressuring her for grandchildren.
    4. All her friends are getting married.
    5. Her life is aimless and directionless and she needs someone to give her direction.
    6. She’s stepped off the carousel and needs someone to help her self esteem.

    There are many other reasons.

  4. Kathy says:

    Rmaxd the unmarried!…… Of course you would know why women marry.. Not!
    I married for love. I fell head over heels for my wonderful man..

    Unconditional love is being married to your partner for 16 years and sharing the ups and downs together.. Sticking together through good times and bad.. Being faithful and putting your relationship and kids first.

    I don’,t know why I am bothering, really. I hold no brief for low life PUA’s (or sluts) such as yourself.. No respect either.

  5. Kathy says:

    Feel sorry for you deti.. You are a very jaded man who obviously married the wrong woman.
    “Women ordinarily marry for any of the following”…?.. Shakes head.. Another expert..

  6. ExtremeBalance says:

    I don’t understand why the economic description of marriage so disturbs some people but then again I’m not married. It’s an analogy.

    Kathy, it sounds like your husband has very successfully sold his ‘husband’ product in the niche ‘Kathy’ market. Congratulations, that’s awesome and how markets work – buyer wants what seller has and they agree on an exchange. As far as unconditional, that’s a great idea but really each day there’s a possibility that a previously unencountered condition could arise (my parents went through ups and downs for 30-odd years before splitting) diminishing the attractiveness of one of the ‘products’. My bet is that one key to a happy marriage, like most of life, is being grateful for each day.

  7. Pingback: What is Happiness? « Complementarian Loners

  8. Deansdale says:

    Kathy, I’ve disabled shaming language on my blog. It does not work here. Try logic or reasoning instead.
    I see what you’re trying to say and you’re not entirely wrong but at the same time you have some mental problems. You completely misjudge how most people are and what they do. If what you say is true about you being happily married for 16 years, undying love and all, then you represent maybe 0.1% percent of the population. Giving advice to other people (or judging them) based on your own experiences won’t help them at all.

  9. Thanks for the link love Deansdale. Much appreciated.

    Don’t worry about Kathy lol.

  10. deti says:

    Unconditional love would be this: I turn completely beta. Quit my job, stop helping with the kids, stop parenting. I let myself go completely. My wife continues loving me, caring for me and having mad, passionate sex with me just as she had before.

    I don’t have to do anything. I don’t have to be anything. I don’t have to contribute anything. All I have to do is exist in whatever form I want, and she still has to love me. That’s unconditional love.

    But that’s not how marriages work. Every day in my marriage, the unspoken transaction is this:

    “deti, you will continue leading our family, earning the money, making the house repairs I cannot make, and helping care for our kids. You will direct the overall course of the marriage, lead me, provide for me, and protect me, our children, and our house from harm. In the course of doing so, you will keep yourself in reasonably decent shape so that I am reasonably assured you will not die from overwork.

    “In return, I, Mrs. deti, will continue giving you good sex at reasonable intervals. I will not get fat and will keep myself physically attractive for you. I will continue running the day to day operations of our home, wash your underwear, clean your clothes and your house, get the kids to school, buy and make the food, provide reasonably good meals for us.”

    If either of us fails in our mutual obligations, the economic exchange breaks down. One party isn’t getting what they bargained for. One party is (or both are) not holding up their end of the bargain. When that happens, resentment ensues quickly. It will quickly lead to a marital breakdown. So we like to think it’s all about romantic love. Marriage is no such thing. Day to day, it is about doing the jobs and the tasks you agreed to take on, and that are necessary to keep your married life going.

  11. tspoon says:

    The study of economic behaviour IS the study of human behaviour. Actually it is that simple. Terms used to describe economic decision can almost universally be used to describe almost all decisions made by humans in all the different spheres in which we operate.

    As I often say to my brother when we fish: Imagine how it is to be a female, to be able to go for unthinkable lengths of time, never once having to confront or address reality, shielded at all times and to ridiculous lengths by all actors from the results of any actions. Able to freely believe the most unbelievable and unlikely, not to mention ultimately harmful, fictions. It must be great… to live like a Kathy.

  12. deti says:

    When she marries, a woman may be “in love”. She may love her husband to be as much as and in every way she knows how. And her idea of love is probably very different from her man’s idea.

    It’s been said elsewhere: Men select a woman and marry women for their qualities. He marries her because he wants HER — her body, her personality, her kindness, her pleasantness, her sexuality, her sensuality. He has dated, and most likely had sex with, other women. He is choosing her above the others. HE doesn’t necessarily want marriage, but he chooses to marry because he will get HER.

    Women, on the other hand, have more utilitarian considerations. She marries him because she wants MARRIAGE, not necessarily because she wants HIM. Oh, she might want him, and even have affection for him, but it’s secondary. The primary reason she marries is for the benefits marriage brings her: Attention (the lavish, blowout wedding). Provisioning. Money. Status (look at the cover photo at the top of this blog). Security. A father for her children. She doesn’t necessarily want him, but she chooses him because she will get MARRIAGE.

    See the difference?

    Funny. To a man, marriage is about him and her. To a woman, marriage is about HER, and her alone — designed in her mind solely to serve her interests.

  13. anonymous x says:

    That was a truly bad conversational exchange with my ex — when during yet another fight, she told me that when she married me, it wasn’t about loving me, it was about looking good for her family. That insult was a huge, huge punch to the gut. A mortal blow to my idea of where we were. It opened my eyes to the kind of person she was in a way I would never forget. One of the reasons why she is my ex. I have a lot of divorced friends who went through something similar with their wives.

    Kathy, it’s nice that you’re in a wonderful marriage; I congratulate you and your husband. But you are not acknowledging that your reality does not match the reality of the vast majority of women today and therefore you are ill-equipped to comment on men let alone give advice to them.

    Deti is absolutely spot on with comment beginning with “unconditional love would be this:”.

  14. Brendan says:

    It’s not really a reason to be jaded, but it’s like anything else in life, really. Few people are in their “dream” *anything*: house, job, spouse, etc. Most people kind of make do with what they’ve got in all of these areas. Just as it’s only a small fraction (I would say less than 10% if people are being honest and not just lying) of people are working in a “dream job”, it’s only a small fraction who are with their “dream spouse”, either. Mostly, in both cases, it was the best option at the time, given other options available. The mating market is a market like any other. The fact that a small percentage of people get lucky and end up winning the lottery doesn’t mean most people can quit their jobs hoping that they’ll win the lottery — and in the mating market, that analogy means that just because some people get lucky and marry the dream spouse absolute love of their lives first choice person even in their dreams type, most people can’t approach the mating market that way, and instead need to be more pragmatic and keep in mind what they have to offer, and what they can therefore “afford”, and make do with that, rather than pining for the dream spouse.

  15. Rmaxd says:

    I find it hilarious, Kathy offers no reasons, apart from loosing her rag … lol


    Do you know what love is? Do you know WHY you fell head over heels with your beta husband?

    Also its pretty obvious you dont love your husband unconditionally … read your own words …

    Also more importantly you proved my point … you DONT KNOW what unconditonal love is ..

    IF you loved your husband unconditionally THIS IS what you shldve said …

    I PUT my HUSBAND first, & then my kids

    IF you loved your husband unconditionally, you would put him first

    The fact is …

    You despise your husband so much, you refer to him as a relationship …

    The fact you used relationship, proves, as long he’s able to maintain the relationship, you’ll stick around

    As soon he’s unable to maintain that relationship, you’re out of the door …

    It’s also biblically wrong

    You’re supposed to put your husband first, & you know it

    The fact you put the relationship first, PROVES your a negligent wife, & your negligent of your husband

    It also proves how beta your husband really is, your inability to see him as being a masculine ideal to put first

  16. Rmaxd says:

    Face facts Kathy, you dont know why you fell in love with your husband, you dont know how to love unconditionally

    Precisely because you dont know how to put men first

    The reason the women, like you, spend so much time at HUS, is precisely because you dont want to face the very real truth about yourself

  17. Ian Ironwood says:

    Kathy: put down the blue pills and back slowly away from the Hamster . . .

  18. CantBeJustMe says:

    Okay the pills and hamster thing was not cool. Perfectly good coffee wasted…

  19. Thomas says:

    Regarding the scientific study of gender relations, human biodiversity (HBD) is the future:


  20. dicipres says:

    Great Blog, just fount it. Looking forward to read more.

  21. M3 says:

    Looks like Kathy is gone. Too bad. I wanted to regale her with my tale of me marrying for love unconditionally and having it blow apart in my face by my ex’s hypergamy.

    Kathy lives in the land of chocolate where it rains donuts from the sky.

  22. Women marry for marriage, to have children and a family. Take a look at any Russian dating site and see what the women there are saying. Single women want to get married to have a family. It is difficult there because there are not enough men and money is scarce.

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