How bad is rape, really?

Quote: “Rape is uniquely awful in that it’s both an assault and a form of torture. Most people classify it as second only to murder as the worst thing that can happen to a person. I tend to agree.”

Most people think like this.

They are idiots.

Let’s imagine an evil leprechaun tells you he’ll magically arrange for you to be the victim of 3 crimes in the next 3 months, and you can’t do anything to stop him, but he’s generous: you get a list of 12 possible scenarios and you’ll get to choose the 3 that will happen to you. The leprechaun will make you forget all the details after you’re done with the choosing so you can properly enjoy the encounters.

1). Half a dozen racist thugs from another race think your face needs some rearranging. The result is a broken jaw, 15 stitches on your left cheek and a permanently blinded eye.

2.) An arsonist burns down your home with everything in it, including you and your family. Nobody dies but all your personal belongings are gone and you receive third degree burns on multiple body parts. On the plus side you become an autodidact expert in skin grafting.

3.) A specialized gang kidnaps the person you love the most. They send you an ear to show they mean business and demand 150% of your life savings as ransom. There’s no guarantee you get the hostage back even if you pay.

4.) A mugging goes wrong and you get stabbed in the kidney. You wait a couple of years for a transplant but until it goes through you are tied to a dialysis machine 4 hours*3 days a week.

5.) Someone falsely accuses you of rape and you spend the next 20 years in prison for a crime you didn’t commit.

6.) Three burglars enter your home at night while you and your family are sound asleep. They tie you all to chairs, beat you until you confess where your valuables are, and then for the longest 20 minutes of your life they discuss if they should rape, torture or kill you and your family. You are crushed by the feeling of total helplessness. After some light torture they simply leave with your stuff.

7.) A drunk driver hits you and flees. Broken hip, titanium screws in your shinbone, and a limp for the rest of your life. After you spend 4 months in bed and 7 months re-learning to walk, that is.

8.) A script kiddie uses your PC to organize DDoS attacks and hides some child porn on your hard drive just for the fun of it. The police don’t believe your version of the story, so you spend 12 years in prison, your family is destroyed, you’ll never get a decent job again and you’re stuck on the sex offender list for life.

9.) The accountant of your small company disappears with most of the company’s money. You are held responsible for tax evasion, you get in considerable debt, you and your company are both bankrupt, your credit is ruined, you can’t get a job with your fresh criminal record and you can’t put food on the table for your family. You prepare for the incoming divorce and living under a bridge.

10.) You decide to hit the town. After a couple of drinks someone attractive catches your eye and you make a move. You end up having sex (using a condom) but the next morning you feel you’ve made a mistake. Because they were sober and you weren’t it means you were raped.

11.) You’re on a third date with someone of your own choosing and things escalate. You tell him/her you’re not in the mood but s/he doesn’t listen. You feel drained and powerless to resist, and decide to let it happen, you’ll probably get away sooner that way. Condom, no STDs or pregnancy.

12.) You drink too much at a house party and pass out. A couple of weeks later your SO confesses that s/he fondled your private parts back then (when you were only getting to know each other) while you were sleeping. No STDs, no pregnancy.

If you didn’t choose the last 3 – which are all different forms of rape/sexual assault – you’re insane. Even more likely you’re ideologically committed to the pretense that having morning-after regret about a single consensual (albeit drunken) sexual encounter is worse than losing an eye or being imprisoned for the next 10-20 years of your life.

Strange how the definition of rape gets broadened all the time to include things that are neither traumatic nor violent, but people cling to the notion that rape is the ultimate evil act, comparable only to murder. Nowadays you can “rape” someone without even knowing it; for example if you have consensual sex with someone who had two glasses of champaigne you don’t know about, and the next day they decide they were “intoxicated”, thus raped, you’re fucked. Insisting in this case that you are a horrible monster deserving prison for raping an innocent victim, traumatizing them for life, is just plain ludicrous.

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23 Responses to How bad is rape, really?

  1. Reg Cushman says:

    You left actual rape off the list. The lie isn’t that rape is bad — it is bad, and can be life-alteringly bad — the lie is that consensual-but-tipsy casual sex is rape.

    The word “rape” wouldn’t be worth misappropriating and lying about if it weren’t a bad thing.

  2. Steve says:

    Its a bit like theft. If you rob a bank, hold someone at gunpoint and rob them, or break into someone’s house to steal, its theft.

    Taking someone’s Bic biro off the desk in work and not returning it is also theft, but can hardly be considered as serious.

    Jumping on a total stranger while she is walking in the park and pulling her behind the bushes and forcibly raping her is certainly a terrible crime, horrible, and definitely a lengthy prison sentence is in order.

    A man who has sex with a woman who of her own free will goes to bed with him and willingly has sex after she has had a few drinks, can hardly be considered to have committed rape in my view. If you decide to drive after a few drinks, you are responsible for the act of driving. If a woman has sex after a few drinks, she has to accept responsiblity for having sex, unless of course he forced her.

  3. Anonymous age 72 says:

    In the 80’s, I worked in a large factory. There was a big campaign on rape on TV. Rape is the worst thing that can happen to a woman.

    I was curious if that was true. So, one day as I worked with women, I asked them that question. Is rape the worst thing that can happen to a woman?

    All of them said, “Yes.”

    So, I asked a follow up question. “Would you give up your children forever to avoid being raped?”

    100% of them said, no, they would not give up their kids to avoid rape. One of them actually threatened to kick my butt for suggesting she was such a lousy mom that she would give up her kids for something less important like rape. I thus concluded losing your children was worse than being raped.

    Yet, men lose their kids all the time, and are told to shut their stupid mouths and pay; pay; pay for kids they don’t see.

    The conclusion is obvious. Men are supposed to smile when forced to do something that women view as worse than being raped.

  4. Pingback: Father Knows Best: Summer Fair Edition | Patriactionary

  5. Deansdale says:

    @Reg: “You left actual rape off the list.”

    According to feminists most rapes are committed by people known to the victim (ie. date rape or acquaintance rape). The “traditional” case of a stranger stopping you in a dark alleyway with a knife in hand is exceedingly rare. When feminists talk about bullshit like 1 in 4 women raped on campuses they don’t talk about the actual rape you refer to.

  6. Reg Cushman says:


    Yes, I said they were lying: “the lie is that tipsy-but-consensual sex is rape”.

    Instead of calling them out on a preposterous lie, you’re repeating the lie. What is your point? Murder is rare. So do you then start calling jaywalking “murder” and reason from that lie to the insane claim that murder is OK? I hope not. If feminists were equating jaywalking to murder as an excuse to deny men their rights, would you again feel compelled to reinforce their lies?

    The response to that kind of insane lie is not to agree with the insane lie and then find some other, indefensible, ground to debate on. The response is to call out the lie as a lie. Because the truth actually matters.

    Feminists don’t own you. They don’t own the English language. You don’t have to crawl to obey their every command about word usage. You don’t have to lie to accommodate their madness.

    You can tell the truth. It’s ok. Really.

  7. Deansdale says:

    I’m not reinforcing their lies, I point out absurdities. To quote myself: “Strange how the definition of rape gets broadened all the time to include things that are neither traumatic nor violent”. I don’t condone this, but it’s the law nowadays. I could bury my head in the sand and pretend we live in a sane world, but we aren’t.

  8. Joska says:

    Sure Deansdale left actual rape off the list.
    But lets change the 12th point to that! Someone assults me and rapes me in the ass (wich is actually worse than a rape in the vag, becouse the vagoo is designd for penetration). Now that would be really bad. But I would still choose the last 3 of the list, becouse it’s still far less bad than the first 9. Also in the cases of prison sentences I could easily fall victim of this scenario as a “bonus”.
    (The only case I would consider choosing something else from the list would be if I would also get AIDS from the incident.)

    “No woman ever died from that. When you’re finished all I need is a tub of boiling water and I’m exactly what I was before! Just another filthy memory!”

  9. don Fefinho says:

    @Anonymous age 72

    What you said there. Pure gold.

  10. hmmmidon'tknow says:

    Some how if rape happened to you you would see it differently. Hope you never go to prison.

  11. Deansdale says:

    I wouldn’t see it differently, because loss of life or limb, wrongful imprisonment and a few other things are still worse than rape. The fact that you could forcibly rape someone at knifepoint explicitly shows that being stabbed is worse than getting raped. People tend to sheepishly agree with feminists that rape is the worst thing ever, but really, it isn’t.

    (That doesn’t mean it’s not bad at all – it just has its own place in the hierarchy of traumas, so to speak.)

  12. Jennie says:

    Hey fucker,
    Have you ever been raped before? Ever had a big, thick, long penis shoving its way into your poor little puckered shithole? Have you ever experienced a man forcing you to suck his big, smelly, hairy, long and thick cock? Have you ever had him thrust it in really, really deep and hard, so your eyes water, and you choke like a little bitch? You may even vomit; some guys like that, believe it or not. Ever been kissed against your will? Had a foul, unsanitary male-mouth against yours after you suck his huge smelly prick, and he shoots a salty, putrid cum load down your throat?? Well, that is rape. For some guys, the more humiliating the better. Some like to shove foreign objects deep into a tight, tight male asshole. Does that sound very appealing to you? For the comments you have about rape, you deserve all of this and more…motherfucker!

  13. Deansdale says:

    Whoa, sweetie, this is not the place to write about your sexual fantasies.

  14. Mark says:

    Well this article is insanely immature it really blows my noggin. First of all none of you little boys have any empathy. All of you just cry and whine about how some people say rape isn’t the worst thing that can happen to somebody. Have you been raped before? No. So you have no right to decide if rape is the worst thing or not. only the ones who have been through it have that right. Only if you could see yourselves From a mature logical point of view. You’re very ignorant. Rape is the worst thing that can happen in a sense. Rape itself. Isolated. Alone. if you understand the effects of rape on a victim then you wouldn’t be bitching here about how women go to sleep with men ‘willingly’ and call it rape. Are you really all so angry because women rejected you so much that you spew your immature tantrum like anger at women who get raped and you define it for them and try to exert your dominance over it by stating that they weren’t raped and they just ‘regretted’ it? Such a shame It’s so pathetic that it bores me to death because I don’t think one can get any more pathetic than you.

  15. Deansdale says:

    Yeah, yeah, kindergarten level shaming language. And you lecturing others about empathy, what a riot.

  16. Pingback: All men rape | socialessentialism

  17. nahnah says:

    If a bigger, stronger man broke into your home or cornered you and forced himself on you sexually, it may just be the most horrifying thing that happened to you. You creeps don’t see it that way because you see it from the rapist point of view.

    The thought of being incarcerated terrifies every man because the fear, shame, and humiliation of being raped is a pretty big deal. That’s how rape feels to women as well.

  18. Deansdale says:

    “You creeps don’t see it that way because you see it from the rapist point of view.”

    Because every man is a rapist, right? Fuck off.

    The problem with you people is that when we talk about how bad rape is you insist on the traditional definition (a stranger physically subduing a woman), but at the same time you work all day to broaden the legal definition to include stuff like regretting having consensual sex. This is bullshit, you can’t have it both ways. Either rape is a horrible crime but then its definition should remain strict, or the definition gets diluted but then it’s not so horrible any more. Choose one.

  19. mc says:

    A good rule of thumb- if it’s a gray area or hard to decifer if it’s illegal or not, best not to do it. Being kind is better than being right.

  20. Deansdale says:

    Problem is this “gray area” is getting wider every year because feminists make the laws, and they fuck men over because ekvalitee. When the burden of proof is shifted to the accused the justice system becomes a farce. A good rule of thumb is that feminists should be chased away from politics with pitchforks so we can return to having laws and ideals that are actually fair and sane. You know, “innocent until proven guilty” and such.

  21. Anonymous says:

    No, no, no, NO NO NONONONONONO. NO. NO. I cannot believe you would say this! I think you’re also forgetting that most rapes are traumatizing, and do not happen like, “eh I’m drunk, I’ll have sex with you”, or “I’m tired, I’ll just let it happen.” It’s still not consent, and it’s wrong, but when someone violates your body when you’re vulnerable, or takes advantage of your vulnerability or inability to defend yourself by using your body and hurting you for their own gratification, breaks your trust and faith in your ability to protect yourself, and removes all control you have, leaving you helpless and powerless to protect yourself… It’s a bit worse, and that’s how nearly every victim feels after rape. As a survivor, I can say that it is every bit as bad as everyone makes it out to be, and usually worse. Society paints the best case scenario, honestly. I would rather be robbed, beat, battered, or murdered. My innocence, my faith, my trust, my happiness were all stolen from me, repeatedly, for years. Now, no one can touch me without it feeling like fire , certain things take me back to it, I cN still hear his voice, feel the searing pain through my entire midsection, feel the carpet pressing into my back, and I remember how terrified I was, but how I didn’t know what was happening, because I was too young. I’m torn with guilt and shame, because what happened to me was embarrassing, and I feel like it was my fault and I could’ve stopped everything from getting as bad as it did. I was violated in the worst way possible, and I grew up thinking my body wasn’t really MINE, I felt no sense of control. I have crippling anxiety, PTSD, and I flashback all the time. Have you been raped? Has it happened to you? No? Then you have no idea how bad it is. You are not an authority on how it feels or how people are affected. So I’d like to respectfully ask you to stop speaking as if you have authority on situations you’ve never been in, don’t speak on issues you’re not qualified to speak about, talk to people who have been in those situations and sre qualified to answer your questions, learn to empathize with people, get some compassion, educate yourself, and above all, shut the fuck up.

  22. Deansdale says:

    Most rapes nowadays are not forcible, but date/drunken rapes – that’s a statistical fact regardless of what happened to you. Those are not rapes in the classic sense, they are just called that because feminists lobbied for it to be so. It devalues the word. People take rape less seriously nowadays exactly because feminists made it a farce.

    Everything you say about trust, violation, etc. can be said about any other type of violent crime. Rape is not unique in that sense. If someone stabs you in the stomach in a dark alley for your wallet, doesn’t that demolish your trust in people, or make you feel powerless to protect yourself?

    You would rather be murdered? You do realise some rape victims are threatened with violence to make them cooperate, which means they fear actual bodily harm more than rape, right? If they would rather be stabbed or shot than raped they would laugh in the face of rapists threatening them with knives or guns.

    Sorry but you’re an anonymous entity on the net who could be a monkey trained by the Venezuelan government for all I know, so I don’t feel obliged to believe your otherwise fairly incredulous sob story. The Rolling Stones presented a story like yours, with the woman claiming she can still feel the glass shards in her back, and we all know what a crock of shit that story was. If you indeed speak the truth I can only advise you to start healing instead of looking for every opportunity to pity yourself and shame others who think feminists should be kicked the hell out of lawmaking. No amount of sob stories will make it fair to reverse the burden of proof to railroad innocent men to jail.

    You don’t have to be raped to know that there are things worse than that, especially (I mention for the n+1th time) since “rape” has been redefined to mean practically anything any woman wants it to mean. You wake up in someone’s bed and don’t remember what happened the night before? Call the police because you’ve been raped, and tell me again how traumatising it was…

    Rest assured, I empathize with rape victims a lot more than feminists empathize with victims of false rape accusations.

  23. Dan Nolan says:

    I stumbled here after reading about the recent Stanford “rape” incident. What is most interesting is that had the woman still been awake when the “heroes” saw him humping her, this would be a non-story. We dont know if she was awake when they started and he finished while she fell asleep. What if no one saw and no one told her? She wakes up the next day with a headache and a little soreness. And both lives continue on. There needs to be some shared liability here. By today’s definition of rape, I was raped (and infected) by a guy (and Im a guy) years ago. But a later incident showed me that I have very little recall after heavy drinking. I may have consented verbally even though I would not have if I were sober. But I chose to drink so I cannot say for sure what really happened and so glad I did not send someone to jail. Was I “traumatized”? No…I was drunk. I don’t recall the event. He should have stopped when she passed out, but she had a part in this. What a shaky ground for young guys today. If I were still dating today, I think I’d get my smartphone video out and say “I plan to have sex with you now. Do you agree?” just to cover my ass. I wonder how this would have turned out if he was passed out, but still hard and she was riding him. Would those guys have interfered? Would he claim rape, and that his life was ruined?

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